Jan

Cadet booted from boot camp after boob job!

Posted by Catfish as humor, sexuality

Her reaction to the decision:

“I am devastated. It has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure.”

Well toots, I wanted to be a baseball player with a wife with a great figure. Did it happen, no and no. What are your massive boobs gonna deflect bullets? Maybe you can stash an extra clip of bullets or two in the cleavage? Well, at least you got the great figure and now with the little bit of boot camp you did get under your belt, I’m sure there are plenty of adult film makers with ideas to help you get as close to your dream as possible.

SORRY PERVS NO PIX ON DA NET YET. But here’s an approximation to tide you over.

(link to original story)

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Jan

2 More Reasons to Cheer for the Patriots? My Rice Girl Cheryl Ling

Posted by Catfish as USAUSAUSA, sports

She can barely contain herself in online videos
By Laurel J. Sweet | Tuesday, January 1, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Local Coverage
Photo
Photo by Courtesy

She calls herself My Rice Girl and there’s no denying she’s a dish, but the mysterious topless Patriots fanatic emerging as an Internet shooting star can now be revealed.

Meet Cheryl Ling - a kind of Lucille Ball meets Toyko Rose, rapping and jiggling beneath dollar-bill pasties in a so-far successful attempt to undermine the confidence of NFL teams that mean to block New England from a fourth Super Bowl championship.

“Being Chinese, being an Asian woman, it’s impossible for people to believe I’m a football fan. I have to prove my fandom,” Ling said in a phone interview from her home in Los Angeles.

Ling, who wrote, produced and starred in the obscure 2003 comedy “Rice Girl” with the late Pat Morita, an Academy Award nominee for “The Karate Kid,” popped up - and occasionally out - online this season, menacing the Colts with a whip and howling at the Browns while dancing with a leopard hand puppet.

Some of Ling’s works have been banned from YouTube for being “inappropriate.”

“I feel like I’m back in Communist China,” she said, laughing.

Ling said her pie-in-the-sky plan to bankroll the feature film farce “Rice Girl,” playing a dim-bulb aspiring porn star, ultimately cost her marriage to Gregory Monk, the Rhode Islander who encouraged her love affair with the Pats.

She turned to the Web to “vent.”

“I don’t think I can fit into the frame of Shakespeare,” she said, critiquing her talent. “I’m a ham. I got a little camcorder for my birthday. The mentality of Hollywood is sex sells, so I got brave and I got topless.”

But make no mistake, her amicable ex assured us, top or no top, Ling is “the real deal.”

“I’ve been a Pats fan since I was 12,” said Monk, also an actor. “I’m a huge fan, but when I started getting her into it, I honestly think I created a monster. She bleeds red, white and blue.”

The Internet, explained Ling, is her “soapbox, such as when people talk down about Randy Moss. Basically, I want (my fans) to think the New England Patriots [team stats] should be the team of America. I want America to adopt them.”

Asked if she’s been recognized yet on the street, Ling quipped, “Yes, at the gym. They say, ‘You owe us dues.’ ”

One thing Ling was quicker to bare than her body is which Patriot she’d cast as her leading man.

“Tom Brady,” she swooned. “I’m not stupid. He’s very good-looking. You know what I’m saying?”

my rice girl

(link)

OK, so I meant TWO GOOD THINGS! I say if people really wanna make the Patriots finally lose a game, then all the women in the crowds should do this…BUT ONLY WHEN BRADY IS ON THE FIELD. This is a sure fire to distract Tom Brady’s eye and make him throw a couple of interceptions. But, if it doesn’t effect him, we can at least conclude 2 things: Either Brady is a robot or he’s a closet gay.

(link)

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Jan

Kumari Fulbright - How to Win Friends and Influence People

Posted by Catfish as USAUSAUSA, rant, survival

Former Beauty Queen and law student, Kumari Fulbright (who get this IS ALSO working as a judge’s clerk at the moment too) has been indicted on charges that she and three others held her ex-boyfriend captive for 10 hours while torturing and robbing him. After 10 hours the victim was able to grab Fulbright’s gun, it went off, and he ran from the building screaming for help.

What’s wrong with this girl? She’s hot (especially after Happy Hour), young, going to law school, and has been named Beauty Queen before. I’m guessing her boyfriend cheated on her. Either that or bitch got aspergers syndrome. But honestly, who gives a fuck…the only part that interested me about the whole thing is that when they searched her house, not only did they find a bunch of stuff she stole from her ex-boyfriend/victim, including his brief case and 500 bucks, but also a copy of the self help/motivational best seller, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

THE BOOK WORKS!!!

Everyone go buy it! Trust me!

(link)

(link to source)

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