Oct
Interesting answers
Posted by Catfish as animalz, art
In college I took an intro to film class, mostly just for the credits, but I was interested to learn what I could in an intro class. My teacher was obsessed with Princess Diana and basically talked about Princess Diana for every second of every class. If you saw my notebook, there would be nothing but doodles of my teacher going on and on about Diana, but no notes about film. With each class I witnessed this woman becoming more and more obsessed to the point where the class was openly questioning her about why she wasn’t teaching film to the class. We were watching our professor’s mind come undone…
Until, chapter 13. Fated chapter on Surrealism in which my teacher’s own book (on German Surrealism) was quoted. She taught the shit out of that class. My notes for this chapter span about 6 pages, and I remember writing furiously. The kind of writing that leaves an indent from your pen deep into your fingers.The whole classroom, which by this point in the curriculum had been transformed into a chattery lounge, had also fallen silent. I know I for one was wondering what the last class before exams was going to be like the next week.
Hoping that the teacher had pulled herself together enough to give us an overview of what would be on the exam, the class filed into it’s seats for the last class before exams. In walks my teacher…with a stuffed raccoon tied around her neck with party beads. A rather large stuffed raccoon that partially obscures my view of her face. She immedietly answers what everyone is wondering…”I bet you’re all wondering what this means,” shaking the stuffed raccoon in the air,” it means, it’s alright to cry.” She then transformed her voice into the high pitched voice of a little girl and went on to describe how she had a twin sister who had been born a minute or so earlier than her, and how that twin had always reaped the benefits of life, where as she found all of its pitfalls. Eventually it was time to leave for the next class although I have to say I was glued to my seat for this class. Perhaps if my math teach had lost it I might have passed math…but the final exam remained. What was I going to write about? Had I learned anything?
Luckily, we had to choose one of four questions to write about, and one was about surrealism. I still didn’t feel like I had learned enough to write an essay. My introductory paragraph struggled it’s way onto paper, much like how I imagine the first water creature to walk on land must have done it…I finally gave up staring at my paper and praying to be possessed by some demon with good marks in Film, and started to apply the one thing about surrealism that stuck with me: ants. Ants are surreal. Use the ants! I started to transform the words I was struggling to come up with into ants and then began writing sentences and then paragraphs all composed of little letter sizes ants marching towards the end of the blue essay booklet. I handed it in, sure I would flunk, but happy with my answer. Well, it turns out I got an A, but part of me wonders if everyone in the class didn’t just get an A because of the teacher poppin’ her top…
Here’s a list of other unusual test answers for your review.
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Oct
Momby I want a Zony for my birthday!
Posted by Catfish as animalz, humor
What you see before you ladies and gentlemen is the hybrid offsrping of a male zebra and female horse, named Eclyse, a major attraction at a safari park at Schloss Holte Stukenbrock, near the German border with Holland. This type of hybrid is known as a “zorse,” and typically has striped running across its entire body. There are other similar hybrids called a “zony” (zebra + pony) and a “zonkey” (zebra + donkey) . , known as “Zebroids” (this is totally the makings for some sci-fi feature).
Horses and Zebras are often crossbread in African to be used as trekking animals. Now, hold on to your dna spirals, cause there are a couple more types of zebroids out there. Although some what less common, zetlands (zebra + shetland) and zebrasses (zebra + ass). The fact that these animals have been popping up in news articles lately means that zoos are soon to get real interesting again. To be honest, unless you are a little kid, you’ve probably had your fill of seeing animals locked up in fabricated habitats for us to gawk at…personally, I know I feel guilty at the zoo these days. However, I can’t say that I wouldn’t pay to go to a zoo comprised of entirely hybrid animals…or animals bred for some strange trait (remember “twisty cats“?). I bet you I’m not alone either. I’d even watch a new tv show called “America’s got hybrids” or “Hybrid Idol” or “Dancing with the Zebroids”. I think I may have just stumbled upon the next big thing…stay tuned.
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Oct
Counting sheep (10,000 of them)
Posted by Catfish as Tech, animalz, humor
And if counting those doesn’t lull you off to la la land, read this article about a Vietnamese man who hasn’t slept in 33 years! His wife said, “My husband used to sleep well, but these days, even liquor cannot put him down.” So, read that article, and be glad you’re not him at least…oh wait, I am talking to you as if you were me. I’m the one still up. You’re the ones just about to get up.
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