Feb

TV theme songs, no download required! Pretty funny!

Posted by Catfish as humor, neat web thingy

Get them stuck in yer head and then go hum them in public rest rooms. Don’t worry, this place has every theme!

Television Theme Songs in mp3 format streaming! WEBSTER, ALF, TJ HOOKER! CLICK.

Oct

Lost in translation

Posted by Catfish as humor, language and words, neat web thingy

Recently I have been working as a trainer for a real estate company, training workers from India to handle the account collections. As I’ve spent some time trying to train “Jack Martin” and “Greg Miller” (gotta love the American name set) in the fine art of reading the collection call script, I have encountered many translation issues along the way which force me to stop and rethink exactly what it is I am trying to convey. For instance, the word “unit” in the context of this real estate company refers to a single condominium unit. After delving into a multi hour training with one of my trainees, at the end of what I thought was one of my best breaths of hot air ever extolled, fully deluding myself that I had trained him in single session to do the work…he asks me…”excuse Mr. Jeremy, but can you tell me, what is it, a unit please?” So, at that point I decided to start over, and begin from the very basics, defining terms every step of the way and making sure to be as mindful as possible when choosing the words I used to train these guys.

As part of the process, I decided to go back and spend some time first getting to know my trainees better, mostly to just get them into some conversations outside of the training so I could hear what their conversational English vocabulary was actually like. At one point the conversation turned to who our favorite music artists were. I admitted that my tastes change so often that I could not truly pick a favorite. I then asked Jack who his favorite artist was to which he replied, “Do you know of the shackera?”

I pause, absorb…”oh, you mean Shakira?”

“Yes, the I love the shackera. My favorite song is the hips don’t lie. I have printed out the lyrics.”

I nearly lost it, and thank god skype has a mute button, ’cause otherwise I would have a hard time training this guy afterwards because he would think I was about to make fun of him all the time. Not only does Jack Martin from around the globe enjoy the musical styling of Shakira, but he has printed out the lyrics! I laughed all weekend about this story and then, come Monday, I am training him again when he decides to email the lyrics, that he had indeed printed out.

In the spirit translation, I found the following link that demonstrates in a neat little way, just how things are lost in translation. This page demonstrates “what happens when an English phrase is translated (by computer) back and forth between 5 different languages.” Here you can see my attempt, which worked out rather well I think. I may just use this service from now on to translate my intended speech into pure babel from now on for future training gigs.

(link)

Original English Text:
No matter how hard I try, I still don’t enjoy listening to Shakira’s music.

Translated to French:
N’importe comment dur j’essaye, je n’ai toujours pas plaisir à écouter la musique de Shakira.

Translated back to English:
Anyhow hard I test, I still do not have pleasure to listen to the music of Shakira.

Translated to German:
Irgendwie stark prüfe ich, ich noch habe nicht Vergnügen, Musik von Shakira zu hören.

Translated back to English:
Somehow strongly I, I check still do not have pleasures to hear music from Shakira to.

Translated to Italian:
In qualche modo fortemente I, controllo ancora non ho piaceri sentire la musica da Shakira a.

Translated back to English:
In some way strongly I, control still I do not have pleasures to feel music from Shakira to.

Translated to Portuguese:
Em alguma maneira fortemente I, controle ainda eu não tenho prazeres sentir a música de Shakira a.

Translated back to English:
In some way strong I, control still I do not have pleasures to feel the music of Shakira.

Translated to Spanish:
De una cierta manera I fuerte, control todavía no tengo placeres de sentir la música de Shakira.

Translated back to English:
Of a certain way I fort, control still I do not have pleasures to feel the music of Shakira.

3 Comments »

Oct

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Posted by Catfish as art, humor, neat web thingy, spirituality

What is this all about you might ask? I stumbled upon the following site on uncyclopedia.otg, all of the text consisting of the letter A, over and over again, much like the hilarious attempts of businesses in the yellow pages to be listed first by including a cha cha lines of the letter A in front of their business name…

(aaaa)

Now that you feel like you’ve wasted precious life points staring at the oddity, go back, waste a few more while you check out the links. If you roll over the links, you will see that the links will take you to Oscar Wilde’s page,a link to the iPod yocto page (which is apparently Apple’s 1337th iPod version released this year alone and which COINCIDENTLY relates to the news story just posted here earlier about Nano Radio), a page about sandwitches (evil bad creature that can disguise itself as a sandwich…you’ve been warned) and the holy of holies, Bat Fuck Insane. Here you’ll find where MAD Magazine might have gone if it were truly and indeedlydo Bat Fuck Insane. MAD Magazine after the brown acid.

The page begins with a notice to all who arrive on the steps of BFI:

“This article is complete, irredeemable bread knife. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, and worships at the underarm hair.f you attempt to deport this, you will most explosively become Bat Fuck Insane yourself.Or the submitter will bamboozle your octopus.”

Looking at this page, I am afraid of it. I can just feel the voodoo that was used to make such a page, and I for one and not going to “deport” one iota of its schizolicious goodness. And when I say schizolicious, I’m talkin’ lobe licken’…

I’ll be eating a bowl full of depokote 500mg tablets with rice milk until I come down from reading the whole thing. that's me dressed up as depakote Warning, this sit has a bit of the Necronomicon effect: it might just possibly plant the seed of insanity in your brain just by the act of you reading it, until you too become and are irrevocably Bat Fuck Insane.