Oct

Your last hour?

Posted by Catfish as Tech, UFO, enviornment, science, sexuality, spirituality

blip Everyone has played the “what if” game before. What if I was born 100 years ago? What if I never went to college? What if I was ever born? What if I was a hot chick, would I do me? Ummm…sorry about that. What if I never typed that last part…Well, a recent survey given to a group of Britons asked what if an asteroid was about to slam into the earth in 60 minutes, what would you do with your last hour?

Most people (54%) answered that they would spend the time with or on the phone with their loved ones. I imagine I would do the same, but I’d definitely be paying my respects to the 13% of those surveyed who said they’d sit back and relax into oblivion with some booze. Interestingly, only 9% of people responded that they would meet their maker in the missionary position. I guess if I am already spending my last hour getting drunk with my family, then I’m not having sex at the end of times, so I can understand why that figure is so low. It is interesting to note though, how the full knowledge of death of the human race as a whole shifts the biological imperatives around. [ED-If you have a goatee, this is the part where it is appropriate to stroke it.]

So, here I am, drunk, with my family staring up at the sky, just waiting for the moment when we will all just vaporize in the asteroid’s hot breath, what’s the last thing I am going to think about? Well, 2% of people responded that with 60 minutes left to live, they would go out and steal stuff. Free TVs! The Going Out of Business for Eternity 5 Finger Discount Sale! This is perhaps the funniest thing ever revealed about humanity. However, to be fair, the Egyptians seemed to believe that they were somehow going to “take it all with them” when they entered the after-life. Who’s to say they were wrong? Although, supposing it is true, and you can take it with when you die, then there’s some pretty pissed off Pharaoh’s who got all their bling jacked by some archaeologist punk. Just because we’re all about to be vaporized, doesn’t mean I’m not gonna want to kick your ass in the after-life for nabbin’ my stash. Beware the curse of the mummy is all I have to say…that TV you steal in the last 60 minutes might just come back to haunt you. Bru hu haw haw haw.

(link)

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Oct

STDs found in Brooklyn canal (in the gowANUS cANAL)

Posted by Catfish as Tech, enviornment, sexuality

Here’s the (link) . Note the last sentence in the article…”A seal was seen in the canal in 2003.”. If people in Brooklyn don’t want to own up to being the source of the STDs in the waterway, then they better all agree to blame it on Seal.

blubba lang

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Oct

What sex is your brain?

Posted by Catfish as gay, sexuality

I thought I almost had a date. I thought maybe if my brain would turn out to be female, then I could date it, expect to find all the right female parts to interact with my male parts, have cranius maximus headed babies and live happily ever after. It turns out, I fall somewhere between the average male and the average female, leaning towards the male side. So, if I date my brain, I’d be considered kinda gay, but not say gay as to be all up in Lance Bass’s brain’s koolaid. Am I still making sense? Too many tests stress me out…now it’s your turn:

What sex is your brain?

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